Hey.the holidays are finally here.

it's time for me to relax my mind.

but i hate holidays to,because i know that i will be just rotting at home doing nothing.

unless i really have a job.

well i went for the shirt job thing.

and it is a coordinator actually.

i hope i can do this small buisness thing.

but then it is a flexible job,where if i have a deal then i'll get money.

i think this holidays is gonna be boring as hell if i dont get a job.

i think this is just my life.

a boring kind of life.

with just me.

and my computer for one whole month.

friends come and go.

ture friends stick together

i am glad to say i have or had a few true friends.

but times have changed.

i dont know for what reason.

i have lost some.

i dont know what i can do.

and i dont know what i have done to deserve this.

please someone just tell me what i ever did to be feeling sad about loosing my best friends.

why am i so weak.

my head is full of thoughts.

thoughts that is not healthy for me

but i can't help but to think of it.

no matter what,the thought will come back every single day.

especially when i go to school.

i feel worst.

please,if i have done anything wrong to you all.

I BEG you please tell me and let me know.

especially you,jun hui.

i miss singing alittle piece of heaven with you.

going crazy about kamen rider with you and sy.

now,when i put a finger on you,you kp ready.

you dont talk to me in school.

in fact you ignore me.

dont tell me that what my friend said to me last time is true.

about people using money to buy my friendship.

if you are,then i really dont want it anymore.

i dont like going to school anymore.

the more it gets boring.

i feel really sad everyday when i go to school.

sometimes i just wonder what it is like having no friends to talk to at school.

well,i dont have to wonder anymore.

cause that's what happend to me in school.

i can't wait to get to another school and find new friends.

and when i do,i make sure i find true friends.

but when i do, i wont foget about my true friends in zhonghua secondary school.

never will.i give you my word

i would not want my future friends to need my help.

but dont repay with care and consern.

that's the least that they can do.

but sometimes they go over.

i am so sian of everything man.
i just wanna say that most of the time when i am in school.
or out with my friends.
i feel either left out because i dont get a single thing they are saying.
when they talk in chinese,nvm it is ok.
but when i ask what they are saying,they say nothing or nothing much.
it is so fustrating to be out with someone and that person talks another lang.
i just hate always having ??????? up my head.
OH AND i feel that one or two of them hate me for some reason.
and sometime's it is boring because sometimes.

they sort of dont even care about me.
they dont ask about other people's opinion sometimes and just go for it.
and well when i say something people dont listen.
mainly i feel invissible sometimes.

i wanna thank donna for always being there to hear my complains everyday.

and juit ying sometimes and sy.

i appricate it

but then again complaining to you all is useless.

cause i think it is just the same as talking behind their back.

well,for jun hui i thank you that when i dont have the money,you give it to me.

but then i find that your attitude has changed.
and i dont think that i really like it.
i feel that you are not who you are anymore.
yea i know that you have bad new about your father that he might get,ahem.
but then you cant just do this to your friends.
you know, i would rather you let me go home late and get nag,then you give me the money to go home early.
cause i dont know weather the money you give is sincere or not.
and if it is.i dont think i want your money.
i would rather have want the friendship then the money.


thanks but no thanks.friendship is more important then money.

kar leong, sometimes you talk just too much.

it makes me just wanna pull out every single hair on my head.

but of course i wont.

and sometimes when you talk,you do not think.

and sometimes whatever you talk does not make sense.

si ying, i not sure what to write.

cause sometimes you care.

but sometimes you dont.

i mean,for me you are considered my best friend since sec 1.

and for a friend who i consider a best friend,it is just kind of sad.

this post of mine is not to hurt anybody.

it is just to tell you all what i really really think about you all.

maybe you guys dont know.

but everyday i think about this and it is just not good for me.

everynight i cannot sleep properly.

thinking of why everything end up like this.

lets just say!
this song has been realting to my life ever since i heared it.
and i love it.
but i hate my life.shit


Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life